(After an introduction)
Nice to meet you. — Nice to meet you too.B. These types of introductions involve three people:
A: The introducer (who knows both B and C)
B: Introducee (knows A but not C)
C: Introducee (knows A but not B)Example:
A: Have you two met each other?
B: No, we haven’t.
A: Ben, this is Carol. Carol this is Ben. (B and C smile and shake hands.)
B: Nice to meet you Carol.
C: Nice to meet you too, Ben.C. After you have been introduced to someone, it is polite to ask a few general questions to get acquainted.For example:
B: Where are you from, Carol?
C: I’m from Connecticut.
B: Connecticut, which part?
C: Hartford, the capital. How about you, Ben?
B: Nebraska – a place called Bellevue. It’s near Omaha.
C: How do you know Alan?
B: He is my friend from college.D. Work in small groups. Practise introducing your friends to each other. Remember to smile (and use handshakes where appropriate).E. The purpose of this activity is to get information about another person, and then introduce him/her to the class. You will be working in pairs. Here are some questions to use:
27. Read through the following paragraph and practise introducing yourself to a roomful of people.
What’s your name?
Where are you from?
Do you work? If not, what do you do?
When did you arrive here?
Do you have a hobby?
What are three things you like and three things you dislike?
How to Introduce Yourself to a Roomful of People
At times, a self-introduction may be one-sided – such as when a roomful1
of people are asked to introduce themselves. In this case, you may be asked to provide specific information, but at other times you may be free to respond in any manner you choose. The first case is easy – just remember to include a greeting, your name, and all the requested information (regardless2
of the responses of previous3
Focus On Three Things Only
When the introduction details are your choice, be conversational and brief, focusing on only three things. The idea is to build rapport4
. By choosing just three things, your introduction will be more memorable. For example, for a very short introduction I might say something like,
“Hi, everyone. I’m Lisa, Lisa Marshall. I’m a professional speaker and author who enjoys dancing and photography.”
For a longer answer I might say something like…
“Hi, everyone. I’m Lisa, Lisa B. Marshall. I’m a professional speaker and author. I specialize in communication skills and I’m excited because my new audiobook on interviewing skills will be released shortly. I enjoy dancing, although4
I’m not that good at it. I really love Latin music and salsa dancing is my favourite. I also enjoy photography. In fact, I am thinking of buying myself a digital SLR5
for my upcoming birthday.” Lisa B. Marshall
roomful – полная комната (людей, гостей и т.п.)2
regardless – не обращая внимания, невзирая на3
previous – предыдущий, предшествующий4
build rapport – установить контакт с кем-л.5
although – хотя6
digital SLR (
digital single-lens reflex camera) –
цифровой однообъективный зеркальный фотоаппарат SPEAKING28. Make notes about yourself under the headings, then talk about yourself.
some words about who you are and where you are from (name; place of origin / where you live);
your likes and dislikes;
your dreams or plans for the future.
GUESSING GAME29. Work in pairs following the instruction:Student A. Think about a famous person you know something about
(an artist, a musician, a politician ...). Write down in note form some details of their life
(date and place of birth; what sort of family he/she was born into; education; career; first job; what he/she was famous for, etc.). Bring your notes to the lesson.
Student B. Ask student A questions to find out as much as you can about the famous person and try to guess his/her name.READING30. Read and learn how “social language rules” work in English.
Do not reveal their identity. Use he or she.
Use the time expressions (at the age of; after that; during is/her life ...).
TEXT 1Politeness Conventions
The basic principle of politeness is to show respect for the partner. The principle can be embodied in a number of maxims1
:1. Do not be dogmatic.
Remember that the partner may have a different opinion. This maxim implies2
a) The use of I think, I believe, I expect
as introducers or as tags. If they are unstressed, their use does not indicate uncertainty3
or lack of confidence4
.I think his mother is Italian. She comes from Calabria, I believe.
b) The use of you know, of course
to imply that the partner is not ignorant.Of course, his mother is Italian, you know.
с) The use of tag questions to invite the partner’s agreement (falling intonation) or confirmation5
(rising intonation).His mother is Italian, isn’t she?2. Be reluctant6 to say what may distress or displease the partner.
This maxim implies such strategies as:
a) Expressing the reluctance: I don’t want to be difficult but …
(e.g. this machine doesn’t work).I don’t like saying so, but …
(e.g. the music is too loud).
b) Seeking the partner’s agreement:I hope you don’t mind …Don’t you agree that …?
с) Apologizing or expressing regret:I’m sorry but …
(your work is not good enough).I’m afraid you can’t smoke in here.3. Do not force the partner to act.
Allow him to appear to act voluntarily. This maxim implies:
a) Adding please
whenever you call for action by the partner.Where is the toilet, please?
(asking the information)A return ticket, please.
(requesting something)Sit down, please.
(giving instructions, orders)
when asking the partner to do something for you. Instead, ask if he
is willing to act: Will you open the window, please?
is able to act: Can you open this tin for me, please?
wishes to act: Would you like to help me, please?
maxim – максима (краткое изречение, выражающее общеизвестную истину, правило поведения или этический принцип)2
imply – предполагать, подразумевать, заключать в себе, значить3
uncertainty – неуверенность, нерешительность4
confidence – уверенность, убеждённость5
confirmation – подтверждение6
reluctant – делающий что-л. с большой неохотой, вынужденный7
avoid – избегать8
imperative – повелительное наклонение
, императив; повеление; распоряжение
TEXT 2How to Be a Good Listener? Careful listening can build good relations. It can help you make friends and settle arguments. Some practical advice
SHOW YOUR INTEREST
a) non-verbally – letting your ‘body language’ show that you are paying attention: nodding1
your head, frequently looking the person in the eye, etc. When seated lean2
forward slightly. Don’t scowl3
, frown, fold your arms, etc.
b) verbally – inviting the speaker to say more, e.g. by saying: I see. Really? Oh? Tell me more.
DO NOT INTERRUPT
Pay attention to the speaker. Don’t interrupt4
him/her even though you think you know what the speaker is going to say. Save your thoughtsuntil the other person has finished talking.
SUM UP WHAT HAS BEEN SAID
Restate (paraphrase)what the other person has said in your own words.This will tell the speaker whether you understood what he or she said, and it will give the speaker a chance to explain again and correct any misunderstanding. Ask questions if necessary. Typical phrases used in beginning a clarifying5
response: Are you saying
(restatein other words)? I heard you say
LISTEN FOR FEELINGS
In paraphrasing the other person’s ideas don’t mimic or parrot6
his/her exact words. Also, avoid any indication of approval7
or disapproval. Refrain from blaming8
, giving advice or persuading9
. For example, the phrase "Oh, you shouldn’t let that upset10 you!"
suggests that the person’s feelings are wrong. But feelings are not right or wrong – they just are. Sometimes people just want to express their feelings – they are not looking for advice.
If you have something to offer, ask first. Try to show understanding and acceptanceof the other person’s feelings or experience. For example, say “Yes, I see that this is important to you”, or “I understand (appreciate, value) what it means to you (or how it makes you feel)”, or “It’s really sad (great, emotional, amazing, unfair,
Especially important is to show understanding and acceptance of the other person’s expressed feelings or opinions when you want to disagree, or when you have different opinion or perspective. In this case it is appropriate to say “What you have said is really important
(you can repeat the person’s statement). There is something that I want to add (point out, mention).
Smiling is one of the most important indicators of a good listener! This does not mean laughing at someone, or grinning, or an ironic face. Just keeping a friendly smile on your face, nodding your head and saying "uhm..."
from time to time will get you the recognition of a good listener and a nice person. This will be an important message to another person, which will indicate that you are happy to be in his/her company, that you are paying attention to the conversation, and you are not preoccupied with your own stressful or sad thoughts instead of listening.
nod – кивнуть головой2
lean – наклоняться; склоняться3
scowl – хмуриться, хмурить брови; смотреть сердито4
interrupt – обрывать, прерывать5
clarify – прояснить6
parrot – механически повторять7
approval – одобрение; благоприятное мнение8
blame – порицать, осуждать, критиковать9
persuade – убеждать (в чём-л.); урезонивать10
upset – расстраивать, огорчатьDID YOU KNOW?
93 per cent of our communication with others is non-verbal. What we actually say makes up only seven per cent of the picture! That’s what US scientist Ray Birdwhistell found out when he began to study body language back in the 1950s. He filmed conversations and then played them back in slow motion to examine gestures, expressions and posture1
. When he noticed the same movements happening again and again, he realised that the body can talk too!
We use our bodies to send messages all the time. We nod instead of saying “Yes”
, shrug our shoulders to mean “I don’t know”, or raise our eyebrows to show surprise.
But even when we don’t want other people to know how we’re feeling, our body language can give us away2
. The way we sit or stand, the expression on our face can reveal3
far more than words.
give away – выдавать, разоблачать (кого-л.)2
posture – положение тела, поза3
reveal – обнаруживать, показыватьFollow-up31. Answer the following questions.
32. Express the following in one word.
What are the basic maxims of politeness?
What makes a good listener?
What are the most important indicators of a good listener?
Do you agree that paralinguistic features (body language, gesture, eye contact, facial expression, etc.) are very important in real communication?
apologize, regret, uncertainty, express, reluctance, force, ignorant
33. Find a synonym in the box for each underlined word or phrase.
lacking information or knowledge
lack of confidence
lack of willingness
feel sorry about something that has happened
make someone do something that they do not want to do
tell someone about a feeling, opinion, etc. / show a feeling on your face or give information by your behaviour
absence, apologize, expression, body language, regret
34. Choose a word from the box to complete each sentence. Some words may be used more than once.
There’s nothing to be sorry about. You haven’t done anything wrong.
Go and say sorry to your mother, Andrew.
She showed a complete lack of interest in her own baby.
Facial expression and gesture are almost as important as language for expressing meaning.
You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I was leaving.
agree, express, expression, apologize, regret, opinion, confidence
35. Read and learn how different nations behave in the same situations. Think about whether this is different in your culture.Saying it without words
That was an awful thing to say – I think you should ___.
I always find it hard to ___ my feelings.
You need patience and ___ to be a good teacher.
I must ___ for my son’s behaviour – he isn’t usually this moody.
Do you want my ___? I think you’re taking a terrible risk.
Mr Johnson thinks it’s too risky, and I tend to ___ with him.
She pretended she wasn’t excited but the ___ on her face gave her away.
She could be very good at this work, but she lacks ___.
Good manners are manifested not only in the way we speak but also in the way we move. Mind your mimics and your body language, don’t gesticulate too much. These are the general rules, but much depends on national traditions. Say, handshaking in Great Britain is not so widely used as in Europe. Older people in Britain usually shake hands when they meet for the first time, but young people don’t do this very often. In France, many people of all ages shake hands every time they see each other – they say the French spend 20 minutes a day shaking hands! In Britain, men often kiss women friends once or twice on the cheek and women sometimes kiss each other too, but men don’t usually kiss each other. However, men in the Arab world often hug and kiss each other on the cheek. Meanwhile, in Japan, people bow when they meet each other; neither men nor women kiss in public.
When Americans meet and speak, there is about a 2–4 feet distance between them. However, if you watch a Japanese speaking to an American you will see him moving towards the American, trying to shorten the distance between them, which makes the American move backwards. Video recordings of this phenomenon give an impression that both men are dancing around the conference room. It partly explains why, when negotiating business, Asians and Americans sometimes misunderstand each other, the Americans thinking of the Asians as “too familiar” and the Asians regarding the Americans as “too cold” and “too official”.
Americans like people who smile and agree with them, but Australians are more interested in people who disagree with them. So sometimes Americans think Australians are rude and unfriendly, and Australians think polite friendly Americans are boring! In Europe, it’s friendly to smile at strangers, but in many Asian countries it isn’t polite. And in Japan you must cover your mouth when you smile or laugh.
In Western cultures, young people and adults look each other in the eye during a conversation to show interest and trust, but in many Asian countries, it’s rude to look people in the eye, especially a superior such as a teacher. In Britain and the United States it isn’t polite to stare at strangers, but Indians often look long and thoughtfully at people they don’t know.
In Britain, it’s polite to respond during conversations and to make comments to show that you’re interested. But in parts of Northern Europe and in Japan, it’s quite common for people to stay silent when someone is talking to them. In China, Japan, and Korea, young people don’t usually start conversations with adults and only speak if an adult speaks to them. In contrast, Americans encourage young people to start conversations.